My social media feed has been filled with grief since the announcement of the helicopter accident on Jan. 26, 2020, which claimed the lives of basketball legend Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna "Gigi", and seven others.
Many fans and friends have offered their memories of Kobe Bryant, the man most of us knew by his first name. We watched him play, our kids (and some of us) looked up to him, and we pointed out his dedication to the game to our child athletes.
The other seven people who died in the accident have been identified now. According to this CBS article, here are the nine people who died in the accident.
The Victims
Kobe Bryant, former NBA star, who coached his daughter Gianna's team, the Mamba Lady Mavericks at Mamba Sports Academy in Thousand Oaks, California. This Bleacher Report article tells you more about Kobe's involvement with Mamba Sports Academy.
Gianna 'Gigi" Bryant, 13-year-old daughter of Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa.
Kobe and Gianna are survived by Vanessa, Kobe's wife and Gianna's mom; and Natalia, Bianca, and Capri, Kobe's daughters and Gianna's sisters.
Alyssa Altobelli, 13-year-old teammate of Gianna.
John Altobelli, Alyssa's dad, who was the head baseball coach at Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa. You can read more about John Altobelli and his family in this Heavy article.
Keri Altobelli, John's wife and Alyssa's mom. John and Keri Altobelli are survived by a son, J.J., and daughter Alexis.
Payton Chester, 13-year-old teammate of Gianna. Riley Chester, brother of Payton wrote a tribute to his sister and Mom on Instagram: "Rest In Peace to the most amazing Mother and sister. I love you Pay Pay and Mom RIP"
Sarah Chester, Payton's mom. You can read more about Sarah and Payton Chester in this Highlight Hollywood article.
Christina Mauser, a basketball coach at Gianna's school, Harbor Day School in Newport Beach. Mauser was the wife of Tijuana Dogs singer Matt Mauser, who posted on Facebook that he and his kids are devastated. The Mausers have three young children.
Ara Zobayan, the pilot of the helicopter. You can read more about the accident in this Fox news article.
Because Kobe Bryant was such a public figure, there are many news stories about his life and achievements. Several of the others who died were also public figures.
My Feelings
As a parent, I can't imagine the pain in the hearts of Bryant, Sarah Chester, and the Altobellis as they faced their imminent deaths and the deaths of their beloved daughters.
As a widow, my heart goes out to Vanessa Bryant. Added to Vanessa's grief is that she's not only grieving the sudden death of her husband, but also the sudden death of one of her children.
Grief is always hard, especially after sudden death. Add in the media frenzy, the fact that others were killed in the accident, the survivor's guilt, and the fact that Vanessa has three daughters who need her to be present for them, she won't be allowed the time or distance from the details of the deaths to allow her to grieve in her own time. Jumping into public grief must be much more difficult than grieving in private.
Likewise, my heart goes out to Matt Mauser, who became a widower, grieving parent, and single dad overnight. His grief at losing his wife and his children's grief at losing their mom are equally heartbreaking.
Helping Our Kids Understand
Much like the terror attack that claimed so many lives on Sept. 11, 2001, we struggle as parents to explain these tragic deaths to our children. It's difficult to talk to kids about any scary or tragic event.
Although we may think that we're keeping our kids safe from fear by not talking about tragic events, kids often worry more when they hear things from friends or other sources than when a parent lovingly explains the events in terms kids can understand.
Here is some Expert Advice for Supporting Your Child Through Tragedy
When talking about this tragedy, keep it simple by saying something like, "An accident happened and some children and their parents died. It made Mommy, Daddy and lots of other people very sad and many people are still sad remembering what happened."
If you were a Kobe fan, share with your kids why you looked up to him. If your child plays sports, talk about how much they care about their coach and how Kobe was his daughter's coach. This can help your kids understand the special relationship Kobe shared with his daughter.
Children may worry that something bad could happen to you, your partner, or a sibling. This may especially concern your kids if you or a family member travels frequently. You can help calm your children's fears by telling them that what happened was a rare and tragic accident.
Moving Forward - Love and Forgiveness
One thing about any tragic event is that we try to make sense of the senseless. There's no way to make sense of young lives cut short or of the grief these families feel and will continue to feel.
We can teach our children by our actions and words that it's important to always show and tell our loved ones how we feel about them. We hold our children close and tell them that we love them. We share words of love, hugs, and kisses at bedtime and when we send our kids to school each day.
It's also important to teach our kids that our love for others is also shown through forgiveness. We can talk about times we have done something that hurt someone else or times someone has hurt us. Forgiveness is a gift for both the forgiver and the forgiven.
As a nation grieves the loss of an unforgettable basketball star, we as parents also grieve the loss of three young girls who had their whole lives ahead of them. May the love with share with our children be a tribute to these children, their families, and all who have lost someone they love.
